i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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