so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
