it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
