whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
