Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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