Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
