Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
her vagine was all disorganized.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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