At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think i have two assholes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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