Grow some girl-balls and come out already
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
