ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
