DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
