last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
