ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
