I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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