i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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