just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
