did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm eating all of the evidence.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
