fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
