the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so let's talk penis.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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