Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
