I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
