people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
