Duck Duck Cougar?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
