I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i came on her dog
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
