At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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