Just fell off a train. Bad.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
