Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
