Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
