it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
