May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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