Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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