Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i think i just lost a toe
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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