she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
