Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
