I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
