Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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