Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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