she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
