Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
