and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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