Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
