Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
