Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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