The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
