What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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