How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
