She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
