well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
