Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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