her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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