tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
