4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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