i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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