We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
