Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.

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(206): View more from Washington

you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

(925): View more from California

I hate that you know that from experience

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(806): View more from Texas

He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

(1-806): View more from Texas

I feel like you never had a virginity..

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with

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(830): View more from Texas

Please don't give away my fajitas

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